Q: In your bestselling "Awakening the Buddha Within: Tibetan Wisdom for the Western World",
you explained the fundamentals of Buddhism for Western readers. In "Awakening to the
Sacred" you showed readers how to create a daily spiritual practice. Now, you explain
how the path of relationship is a vehicle for sacred living, and how to find a
sacred dimension in our relationships with ourselves and others by actively taking our
spiritual life out into the world. What do you mean by the "Buddhist Heart," and how
can awakening it help us to make meaningful connections with ourselves and others?
Buddhist heart means the enlightened consciousness, what Tibetans call bodhicitta, or our
awakened heart-mind-our basic goodness. This book is about how to awaken our own inner
wisdom and love, so that we can use every kind of relationship as a vehicle for sacred
living and for being more authentically and lovingly ourselves. In this way, we can make
our lives meaningful and productive, and contribute to a better world at home, at work, and afar.
Q: What is Spiritual Intelligence? And how do we get it? How can we each
find a higher or deeper transcendent spiritual vision and perspective?
Spiritual intelligence includes finding our own innate spiritual ground or center; gaining a
sense of the bigger picture-the God's-eye view or perspective of Buddha vision-on things;
sharpening and refining our ability to distinguish the real from the unreal; an understanding
of the law of karma, or cause and effect-how and why things happen and how it all works and is
interconnected and fits together; and becoming more wise, enlightened, and unselfish.
The Dalai Lama says, "The basic fact is that all sentient beings, particularly human beings,
want happiness and do not want pain and suffering. On those grounds, we have every right to be
happy and to use different methods or means to overcome suffering and to achieve happier lives.
It is worthwhile to think seriously about the positive and negative consequences of these methods.
You should be aware that there are differences between short-term interest and long-term interest
and consequences- and the long-term interest is more important. Buddhists usually say that there
is no absolute and that everything is relative. So we must judge according to the
circumstances."
Q: In today's world evidence of anger and rage fill the headlines every day. How can
applying the principles of Buddhism help us to let go of negative energy and emotions in
order to make our relationships more alive and fulfilling? For example, how can we let go
of our anger? Our jealousy?
The root of war, violence, and aggression is the anger, avarice, and cupidity in our own hearts
and minds. Martin Luther King, Jr. said that we have only two choices: non-violence or
non-existence. Buddhist practices, such as loving kindness and compassion meditation, and
tonglen-exchanging self and other, reversing egotism-can help use root the hatred and anger
out of our hearts, and bring us inner peace, balance, and harmony. Nonviolent practices such
as forgiveness, peacemaking and reconciliation, vegetarianism, returning negativity with love,
and so on have personal, familial, social, and global implications. As spiritually motivated
social activists, we try to think globally while acting locally, beginning with each of us
ourselves and with each other.
Buddha said:
"See yourself in others.
Then whom can you hurt?
What harm can you do?"
Practically speaking, in dealing with difficult emotions, we have to begin with self-observation.
We try to notice how we react to others and to things that disturb us, irritate us, or create
inner conflict. Through mindful awareness, we can more quickly notice the habitual, reflexive,
and often unconscious reactions arising within our mind and body. Notice them, name them, and
then let them go. See if by doing so you can find more spacious acceptance to the difficult
feelings and emotions. This doesn't necessarily mean that you will never again feel angry,
bitter, or resentful; however, it does mean that you can better channel emotions more effectively.
For example, if we get angry, it's helpful I think to realize that there are several steps
between anger arising inside us and anger becoming external violence and aggression. Like
all emotions, anger is just an emotional internal energy, a matter of conditioning. We can
intentionally choose to intervene between the experience of anger and the acting out. I like
to advise people to follow a little four-step mindfulness practice as a way of handling their
difficult emotions:
- Notice what you are feeling.
- Rather than rejecting it, cradle the feeling with love and mindfulness. Embrace it with
awareness.
- Use discriminating awareness to reflect on what you are feeling.
- Behave in an intentional and wise manner.
Q: How can the practice of Buddhism help us improve our self-confidence and self-esteem?
Buddhist wisdom reveals to us our own true nature, our Buddha-nature or Buddhaness. This is
like meeting the God or Goddess, the inner divinity within ourselves. Being within ourselves,
it is within all; recognizing this common ground of sacred spirit, we feel connected, no
longer alone, at one with one and all. Buddhism says that we are all Buddhas by nature; we
only have to awaken to that fact, to recognize who and what we truly are. This is the ultimate
antidote or panacea for low self-esteem, self-hatred, alienation, despair, and depression.
Q: With mergers and downsizing, today's workplaces can be very stressful. What are some
tips for improving relationships with our colleagues at work?
We spend a good deal of our lives at the workplace. It's in our own higher self-interest
to bring principles and practices such as right livelihood-- making a life, not just a
living-- and finding our true vocation. It is also important to bring moral ethics and a
more unselfish and a service-oriented approach to things rather than being overly competitive,
egotistical, shortsighted, and exploitive. It is shortsighted to think only of ourselves and
our momentary wishes, wants, and desires. In the bigger picture, we can start to recognize
that we all want and need more or less the same things and that it is not really beneficial
to advantage and further own interests by disadvantaging others. On a more practical,
day-to-day note, we could learn how to bring mindfulness and awareness into our workplace
by slowing down a little and simplifying things; by taking short breaks for instant,
mini-meditations or moments of mindfulness, such as by using by Buddhist bumper sticker
slogan, "Breathe, Relax, and Smile;" or by learning how to de-stress physically and
mentally with little stretching and breathing exercises that we can do at work as well
as more thoroughly at home in the morning and at night.
I have outlined Ten Steps in Stress Education:
- Take a breath, take a break-Take time for some conscious breath and relaxation exercises.
Breathe, smile, and relax.
- Body work-Exercise, enjoy yoga, tai chi, jogging, bicycling, swimming, sports, martial
arts, gardening, manual labor.
- Body work-massages, acupuncture, shiatsu
- Music-play, listen, sing, chant, hum along, sing in the shower, dance, and chant and
listen to chant tapes in the car.
- Lighten up and enlighten up-read comics and funny pages, watch funny shows and movies
- Wash your cares away-Enjoy baths, hot tubs, hot springs, long showers
- Read the book of nature-Take nature walks, fish, camp, beach comb, enjoy campfires,
sunbathe, sky gaze, spend time with animals, pets, and kids.
- You are what you eat-Consume less caffeine, nicotine, sugar, meat, and alcohol. Drink
lots of water. Try fasting
- Slow down. Live more in the moment. Listen; open your third ear.
- Simplify your life
Q: You spent 25 years studying with the great spiritual masters and have become the
leading teacher of Buddhism. Your background sounds very serious, yet, you are known as a
"hip and regular guy," according to the "Boston Globe", and as a person as
humorous and
gregarious as erudite. Why do you teach with humor and stories and feel it's important
to combine "lightness with enlightenment?"
I think we have to lighten up while we enlighten up along the Way. If we take ourselves
too seriously, it ain't very funny. One of my old friends in India during the '70s used
to call me Serious Das, but I'm much younger now, as the song says.
There are definitely serious questions we must inquire into about life, love, injustice,
and the nature of reality. But we shouldn't let religion drive the smile away. Regarding
the secret of life, the afterlife, and rebirth, I like to say that if we don't get the
joke this time around, we may have to be reborn until we do.
Humor disarms our defense mechanisms and helps quickly bridge all kinds of gaps between
us, especially in public with strangers. It helps provide access to the timeless treasure
trove of spiritual wisdom by removing some of the barriers that keep ordinary people from
benefiting by traditional religion and serious philosophy. A good story today is worth
volumes of more serious hot air. Also, I'm just a regular guy, a Buddha from Brooklyn;
my message is, If I can do it, you can do it, anybody can do it. That's why I teach
the way I do: although I speak Tibetan, I prefer to use the American idiom, and
dress like everybody else, although I have a full set of maroon and gold lama robes
and I am an authorized and empowered lama in the Tibetan Buddhist order and known as
one of the most highly trained American lamas and Buddhist meditation masters.
Q: You are a self-described Jewish jock from Long Island American, who has studied
and practiced Buddhism for nearly thirty years. How have you reconciled your Buddhist
practice with your Jewish-American roots? Do Westerners need to convert in order to
practice Buddhism or can they adapt some Jewish practices to their own lifestyle and religions?
We each contain multitudes, as the poet said. The inner jewel of my spirit, just like yours,
has many luminous facets. My father's house has many mansions.
My brain scientist brother Michael Miller, after I came back from twenty years in India and
the Himalayas, said in 1990: "You're still yourself, Jeffrey-- only more so!" In spiritual
life, we become simply more and more authentically and genuinely ourselves every day. We
don't have to put somebody else's head on our shoulders in place of our own-not a Buddha's,
not a guru's, not a god's. I try to keep my feet on the ground and my gaze upon heaven;
this is what Buddha called the Middle Way. For example, I am Jewish on my parents' side,
and they always told me to be a mensch-- a real, decent human being, or a good guy.
This fits in with Buddhist ethics such as simplicity, naturalness and authenticity,
straightforwardness, and nonviolence. Buddhism and Judaism are both very dedicated to
a better life in the here and now, and to social conscience, not just having a blissful
afterlife; to wisdom, knowledge, and education; to questioning, and to a certain sense of
irony and the cosmic absurdity of things. I feel like these're me.
The Dalai Lama always says to contribute to others rather than to convert others, and
that he would rather see Westerners in general use Buddhist practice to become a better
whatever they are than having them convert to Buddhism.
Q: You are the founder of Dzogchen Foundation, which is an international Buddhist
congregation, with local meditation groups and retreats and workshops around the country.
What is Dzogchen Buddhism? How does it differ from Tibetan Buddhism?
Dzogchen, or the Natural Great Perfection, is the highest teaching of Tibetan Buddhism.
Elder Tibetan lamas have often called it the teaching for our times, the most swift and
direct path to enlightenment in this very lifetime. I founded my center ten years ago,
in Massachusetts and in Northern California, along with my late dzogchen master Nyoshul
Khenpo Rinpoche of Tibet, with the blessings and endorsement of the Dalai Lama and other
high lamas of the Tibetan tradition. Dzogchen is an ancient practice lineage reaching
back to the time of the Buddha, 2500 years ago in India. Tibetan Buddhism has various
schools and traditions, each with their own emphasis; the Dzogchen tradition comes from
the oldest original school of Tibetan Buddhism, the Nyingma, and emphasizes awareness
meditation above all other forms of practice. Dzogchen itself is not just meditation
practice, but is explained according to three things: View (outlook), Meditation, and
Action/conduct.
Tibetan Buddhism has many practices, including meditation, chanting, rituals, visualization,
energy yoga, breath work, prayers, philosophy, monasticism, and debate. Dzogchen is based in
Tibetan Buddhism, but teaches us the very heart of the matter.
Q: Many of us have difficulty in achieving lasting marriages and romantic relationships.
Are there some specific Buddhist practices to help us to make a deeper and more spiritual
connection with our romantic partners that are therefore more lasting?
There are many spiritual practices as well as other things that we can do together with our
partners. We could meditate and pray together, read scriptures or spiritual poetry together,
make sacred music together, chant or do yoga together, practice tantric sex and energy work,
practice mutual eye-gazing in sacred silence, go on pilgrimage or nature walks together, or
engage in shared volunteerism and charitable activities. We could share one of my favorite
Buddhist meditations -walking or sitting in a cemetery, and reflecting together on things
and our own priorities in the light of death and eternity.
Furthermore, could practice recognizing our partner as a reflection of the divine, and
honor them in that way; then relating to them, will deliver us to the divine, for human
love is the tip of the iceberg of divine love. One of my Zen masters, Sazaki Roshi, used
to say that for Americans the best monastery is probably marriage. We could practice
bringing more spirituality into our family meals and holidays as well as our daily routines
and rituals.
But I think one of the best spiritual practices for those seeking truth is the practice of
honesty and truth-telling; I can guarantee you that this transforms all of our relationships.
Another important practice is opening your third ear, the inner ear of true listening.
Communing more deeply together will definitely bring us closer to ourselves and to
each other, and more deeply into sacred relationship.
Q: Although spiritual seekers and saints historically have often been associated with
self-sacrifice and a reclusive life, here in modern life other traditions of spirituality
are emerging. What are they?
Most of us today are lay practitioners, not monks, nuns or clerics. Therefore we must learn
how to integrate spirituality into our daily lives. We will not be satisfied for long just
being Sunday Christians or Saturday Jews; there are six and a half other days of the week to
consider. In Buddhism, for example, there is a great movement today of people practicing
mindfulness in daily life, not just in formal sitting meditation sessions-such as mindful
eating, mindful walking, mindful speaking, mindful listening, mindful work, and so on.
Moreover, practicing a well-rounded, integral spirituality which takes into account and
helps matures all the various facets and dimensions of our being-including body, mind and
spirit, fostering emotional and mental health as well as physical and metaphysical health-is
crucial for us today.
To take another tack-- there is also a movement of socially conscious spiritual activists
called Engaged Buddhism, who are very sensitive to issues of social justice and intent upon
bringing the healing medicine and spiritual tools of Buddhism out of the more traditional
reclusive lifestyles of the old countries and into the modern information age. There are
also eclectic traditions of personal spirituality emerging today, where people are creating
their own spiritual lives almost from scratch rather than just belonging to one traditional
forms of religion or another; this trend can, I think, be helpful and healthy for some
people, although it is certainly not without its possible downsides, including dilettantism
and superficiality.
Q: Buddhist values remind us that all our bonds are sacred, and sometimes our
adversaries provide us with the most precious teachings. Can we learn to love people
we don't even like?
Love and like are different things. Love is divine and is of the heart; like is of the
mind and the personality. By learning to cultivate virtues such as equanimity and inner
detachment, desirelessness, patience, and moderation, and a recognition that others are
no different than ourselves in the deeper levels, we can start actually to treat others
like ourselves and transcend strong partiality, addictive desire, and hateful aversion.
This can help us love even those we disagree with or who are against us.
Q: You believe that our connection with the natural world is very important. For
instance, you explain some of the lessons you have learned from Chandi, your sheepdog.
What do animals and nature have to teach us, and how can we give back to nature in
practical ways?
Nature reminds us that we are not separate, that we are all part and parcel of the infinite
beauty and greater ecology of being and of all beings. Nature daily shows us that everything
is impermanent, changing, and cyclical; that we are not totally in control; that we are
not the only ones here, and that our "I" is not the largest or most important thing in
the world. My dog teaches me every day about unconditional love, affection and childlike
spontaneity, as well as how better to use my nose and ears.
Practical ways to give back to nature for me include recycling, developing heightened
environmental and dietary consciousness, studying the Book of Nature to understand its
underlying laws and principles and better live in harmony rather than out of tune with
it. Also, we could be regularly planting trees and gardens, working to clean up pollution
and slow down overpopulation, and generally cultivate a greener consciousness, which is a
way of venerating the female Buddha Tara, who is as green as Mother Earth herself and
deserves our gratitude and respect. The Buddha exhorted his followers to plant one tree
every year to help replenish the earth and in gratitude for resources used.
Q: You explain "Karma" as the law of cause and effect. Each of us has a particular
"Karma", but does our "Karma" necessarily predetermine our destiny? If we change our
attitude and behavior, can we change our karma?
We can be masters rather than victims of our own fate. It's not what happens to us that
determines our experience, our character, and our destiny; it's what we do with what
happens to us that makes all the difference. Karma means action and reaction, causation,
conditioning. The bad news is that we are quite conditioned: physically, mentally,
emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, culturally, etc. The good news is that we
can re-condition ourselves, that conditioning can be changed. This is what spiritual
practices and inner maturation is all about-freedom, and self-mastery. We have the
steering wheel of our own destiny in our hands; how we use it is the crux of the matter.
